My nasal passages will never be the same

I can barely see straight to even type this post. My head is pounding and my eyes hurt, not to mention all the tears from all the sneezing. But there's a good reason (well, the term "good" is relative here, but you get my meaning). And I shall share this reason with you all right now.


We get up pretty early to get SuperDad off to work and the kids ready for school. This morning, it was still dark when the children were all eating breakfast at the kitchen table and SuperDad was putting on his shoes. I was wandering around, getting lunches together and stuff. It was nice and cool outside last night, so we had all the windows open.


We heard the dogs barking. Not unusual, really... they bark at everything. I assumed they were barking at the cat, who had jumped out the window as soon as the kids woke up (can you blame him?). I walked over to the open window and yelled "What are you barking at?" I then happened to look straight down and there, right next to the house, I could barely make out the upturned tail of a skunk.


It was still pretty dark, but there was no mistaking the faint telltale musk odor that told me I was looking at a skunk rather than our black and white cat. A skunk whose tail was sticking straight up. I did what any sane person would do. I immediately closed the window. I forgot, however, to close the other window - the one with the box fan in it. SuperDad quickly reminded me to close the other one, so I did, but not until after the stink had wafted in the house.


I don't think SuperDad has ever been happier to get in the car and go to work.


I don't know if you've ever been that close when a skunk sprayed his stink, but it's ten thousand times worse than just driving past a dead skunk out on the highway. (It got the dogs, not me, by the way. I think a direct hit might have rendered me unconscious.)


I quickly ran around closing the windows on that side of the house. My bedroom is right next to the living room and that is the direction the skunk was headed, so the stink is at its worst in there. I left the windows open on the other side of the house and aimed the fans that direction. It's been about 45 minutes now and I can still smell it. I have a feeling it's not going away any time soon. I'd use some Lysol spray, but that would ensure me being unable to breathe through my nose for at least 24 hours. I will probably break down and use it anyway soon, because it can't be any worse than the skunk smell. I can't really breathe through my nose anyway right now, so it probably doesn't really matter. I'll just take an allergy pill with the inevitable ibuprofen I can tell I'm going to need. I think the skunk ran away after it sprayed the dogs, so I may take the Tiny Man and go outside for fresh air. I'll try opening the windows again and getting some fans going in them soon, too. I realize I have begun rambling. I think you'll all agree I have a fabulous excuse, right?


Forget about breakfast. I have absolutely no intention of eating anything any time soon. Even my tea tastes icky after having my nasal passages assaulted like that.


Sweet mercy, I hate skunks.