In which I really hope not to scare too many expecting moms

Alternate title: "I was a grump in labor."

Since my computer ate them about two years ago, I have been meaning to retype my birth stories for a while now, but never seem to find the time, so I couldn’t resist this meme over at Rocks in My Dryer. Shannon also has a Mr. Linky going, so you can read other bloggers’ answers, too!

How long were your labors?
Child number 1: From very first contraction to delivery, approximately 3 days, which is, oddly enough, the number of times I went to the hospital in labor. The hard, painful labor lasted for 28 hours (from 10 AM on Monday morning to delivery at 1:50 PM on Tuesday).
Child number 2: Roughly 2 days. Painful labor was 22 hours, from 8:00 PM on Monday night to delivery at 6:40 PM on Tuesday night.
Child number 3: Only 19 hours this time! Labor began around 7 in the morning, I went to the hospital, got sent home, and opted to stay home for the majority of labor this time because I was really trying to go drug-free at least once. Went back to the hospital at 10 PM that night, and the Tiny Man made his appearance at 1:52 AM, which would have been sooner if not for a botched, ill-advised epidural…

How did you know you were in labor?
Child number 1: Felt what were definitely NOT Braxton-Hicks at about 2:00 PM on a Saturday. Went to the hospital and was “monitored” and strapped to a bed for two hours before I was sent home with the offer of a sleeping pill, which I turned down. The second time, they strongly suggested that I take the pill, so I did. It didn’t really help me sleep, but I did nap and woke up feeling like my stomach was going to split in two. They let me stay the third time we showed up at Labor and Delivery, about an hour later. How nice.
Child number 2: Wasn’t so sure I was in labor this time, so I alternated between long bubble baths and sitting in my chair working on some cross-stitch while I timed the contractions. The next day, we kept a lunch date, then went and hung out with some friends for most of the afternoon. About 8:00, I was hurting, but didn’t want to go get “monitored” again (I hated being “monitored” and “checked” and was determined to avoid it at all costs), so we went to the mall and walked the halls for an hour before we headed to the hospital. They let me stay! The maternity ward was relatively empty, so I stayed in my own private labor and delivery room while SuperDad and Big Brother got to move to my post-delivery suite, which was where everyone gathered the next morning when all the people started arriving.
Child number 3: I woke up around 6:30 AM and got up to change the Princess’ diaper (she was only 15 months old at the time) and thought my water had broken (it had never broken on its own before), and although it was only a small trickle, we still headed to the hospital. The nurses tried to convince me I had just peed on myself and let me walk the halls to see if labor progressed. I had dilated a tiny bit and was told that it was more than likely my water was leaking rather than completely broken. So they sent me home and I determined NOT to go back until I was sure delivery was not far away. So I walked up and down the road, did some aerobics, and walked some more to try and speed things up. By 8:00 that night, I knew I was delivering before morning, but wanted to wait a little bit longer. So I took hot showers, did some stretches and exercises to ease the pain, and finally decided to head to the hospital. We got there right before 10 PM.

Where did you deliver?
Same hospital for all three, which is also the same hospital SuperDad was born at!

Drugs?
Child number 1: In our prenatal classes, they let us hold and look at an epidural needle. My exact words were “No way are they putting that in me!” But after 16 hours of the painful labor, being confined to my hospital bed, and two terribly uncomfortable and disturbing doses of Stadol (worst “pain” medicine EVER), I begged for the epidural. I figured if I was going to be poked and prodded by every member of the hospital staff and “visited” and stared at by everyone living within driving distance of the hospital, I might as well be doing it pain-free. For what sadistic reason do people feel it necessary to visit a woman in labor? Why? Oh, and then I got the full-on spinal for my c-section (see below)
Child number 2: I did ask for an epidural about halfway through my labor this time because frankly, I was going for a VBAC and was afraid. And people kept coming (and coming and coming…) to visit me and tried talking to me and I wasn’t handling it well at all. So yes, I asked for an epidural. Turned down the Stadol, which did nothing the first time except make me incoherent in between contractions and unable to properly focus and concentrate during the contractions.
Child number 3: I really intended to go drug-free this time. I stayed home as long as I could, hoping we’d get there too late for them to try and convince me to get an epidural (they really were pushy about that, too). I was elated when we got to the hospital and I was pronounced to be at 9 cm. They said they’d break my water and I’d be ready to push shortly. Long story short, SuperDad couldn’t get hold of anyone to come watch the two older children right away and I got stressed out (plus, I was also in the transition phase of labor), so when they broke my water, I went back down to 8 cm, so that frustrated me (and my doctor, who was tired and had been at the hospital all day long so she was more than a bit cranky), so when my doctor said “You should go ahead and get an epidural because it’s going to be a while,” I was in pain and in transition and not really thinking clearly and I agreed. And then the ineptitude of the anesthesiologist was staggering. My epidural, instead of numbing me from the injection site DOWN, numbed me from the injection site UP, meaning my upper body and my HEAD were numb and I could still feel everything from there down. I could still feel all the “exams” and annoying intrusive things they do down there quite clearly, but I couldn’t say or do anything about it. It was all I could do to stay awake. At one point, the machines that measure the baby’s heartbeat became so loud to me and I could have sworn the heartbeat started slowing down and I truly felt like I was dying. I know I wasn’t really dying and that I was hallucinating from the effects of the epidural ON MY BRAIN, but it was nevertheless a very scary moment and I still wish I had never agreed to that epidural. I was still so out of it after the baby was born that I can’t watch the video (again, why a video?!?) of myself without being disgusted and embarrassed.

C-section?
Child number 1: Yes, a c-section after 28 hours of labor. I need an award for that one.
Child number 2: No c-section this time! All VBAC, baby!
Child number 3: My 2nd VBAC!

Who delivered?
Dr. K, the best OBGYN ever, even when she’s a little cranky from being awake for days on end.


That’s it! I hope I didn’t scare anyone! LOL!

Head over to Shannon’s to see more stories!

Also, I did the whole meme and posted it before I realized that today is Labor Day. Which makes this completely appropriate, don't you think? Happy Labor Day, everyone!