Because I'm a Meme Nerd

I can't resist a good meme, and this one was good. I saw it over at 2nd Cup of Coffee and Linda issued an open invitation for participants at the end of her answers. So, since I'm a big fat meme nerd, I jumped at the chance to avoid household chores and other responsible things I could be doing with my time. The idea is to give three answers for each item. So here we go... allow me to introduce me, in all my meme-ish glory:

Things that scare you:
-- Spiders (All except for the barking kind that follow us around after we’ve eaten beans… seriously, no one in this house farts… we have barking spiders. Really.)
-- When the dog flops himself down by the front door in the middle of the night. We live in the middle of nowhere, so it’s silent most of the time. Unexpected noises scare me.
-- Moths. Not that they’re scary, really, but I hate walking through our back door at night when the porch light has been on for a while. Moths everywhere… they come in the house and flutter noisily around the light over the kitchen sink. All night long. Until they die and populate the sink, which is usually full of dirty dishes that I’ve had soaking overnight so then I have to pick them out myself and let’s just all say “EEEWWWW” together. Ready? Go!

People who make me laugh:
-- Big Mama
-- My husband and kids
-- The cast of “Scrubs”

Things I hate the most:
-- When the caller ID reads Unknown Caller and the number is 000-000-0000. I don’t know anyone by that name and I highly that doubt anyone, anywhere, has a number comprised entirely of zeros.
-- When the kids are sick and I’ve done everything I can and I don’t know what else to do for them and they still feel terrible.
-- Cramps.

Things I don’t understand:
-- Addiction. I really don’t understand it. I’ve never been there.
-- How anyone on this planet can NOT want what’s best for their own children.
-- How my three-year-old daughter and/or two-year-old son can push random buttons on a computer keyboard and open up every single application on the desktop and manage to open up and surf the internet enough to find AND begin playing a porn video, but they still can’t/won’t sit still long enough to eat a whole meal.

Things I’m doing right now:
-- Watching my kids watch “Chicken Little” for the nine hundredth time. Today. Later, they’ll play the video at the end for the song “Shake Your Tail Feathers” and they will get down and um, shake their tail feathers. Multiple times. Like thirty. In. A. Row.
-- Digesting the awesome dinner my husband made. He’s definitely the cook in the family. I can bake, though. And nuke a mean hot dog.
-- Listening to a CD of hymns. “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” is on right now.

Things I want to do before I die:
-- Visit Tuscany and Ireland.
-- Get a couple/three college degrees.
-- Learn how to hold a coherent conversation without feeling like an uninformed blubbering idiot. I say “Yeah” a lot. It’s like my brain shuts down. I apologize to anyone that’s noticed this. I’ve just momentarily gone stupid.

Things I can do:
-- Read two or three books in a day. (To be fair, though, they were all Christian romance novels, so they were fun, light reads. I’ve done this several days in a row now. That’s what happens when people sell a grouping of 25 Christian romance novels on eBay with super cheap Buy It Now prices.)
-- Spell and punctuate correctly. Although I have an unnatural affection for the parentheses and may use it (way) (too) (much.)
-- Waste hours on end during the day and be completely unable to remember and/or account for anything worthwile that I’ve done during that time.

Ways to describe my personality:
-- Quiet.
-- A little weird.
-- A sense of humor that only I think is funny. Which makes for lots and lots of awkward conversations.
(Gee, don’t I sound fun?)

What I can’t do:
-- Whistle.
-- Make a good joke on the spur of the moment. Or ever.
-- Tell a story without including minute details, which results in either very bored or very irritated people.
(Don’t you want to invite me to your party now?)

You should listen to:
-- Hymns. My favorites are “The Old Rugged Cross,” “How Great Thou Art,” and “Just As I Am.” Awesome stuff.
-- Any of my children try to tell a story. You will laugh your butt off. Or be really confused, one of the two.
-- The dialogue in the “Rush Hour” movies. Brilliantly funny. Minus the cursing, though.

You should NOT listen to:
-- Country music. Ew. Almost as bad as rap, IMO.
-- Mean-spirited comments.
-- The Spice Girls.

I’d like to learn:
-- More of the Bible (as in able to recall from memory instead of drawing a blank, knowing I’ve read something about whatever the current subject is, but unable to form a coherent thought process in order to interject an intelligent sentence into the conversation… Oh, what the heck, I have that problem all the time. People probably think I’m either stupid or stuck up. Or maybe just a good listener? I don’t know.)
-- More about the areas in which I want to get a degree. Namely, English (mostly literature) and Psychology (mostly in the Educational Psych area).
-- How to motivate myself to want to learn more stuff. LOL

Favorite Foods:
-- SuperDad's Chicken Fried Steak.
-- SuperDad’s Pot Roast and Veggies.
-- Anything SuperDad cooks, really. Except things made with squirrel and rabbit. Ick.

Beverage I drink regularly:
-- Coffee (Folgers 100% Colombian medium-dark roast or Millstone Chocolate Velvet)
-- My iced tea (I say “my” because my husband and I are very picky about our iced tea. We can’t stand super sweet tea, and we go through about a gallon a day, no lie.)
-- Water (exciting, I know)

Shows I watched as a kid:
-- Growing Pains
-- Full House
-- Diff’rent Strokes

Three people to tag:
-- Cynthia
-- Anyone else who
-- wants to do this meme!